my desire.

Today, I finally finished reading a book called Set-Apart Femininity by Leslie Ludy.  It is an amazing book and I challenge any woman of Christ who is looking for a real wake up call on her relationship with Jesus to read it.  I plan on blogging on the book more specifically in the future.

In this book, Leslie points out God's true calling on us, women of Christ.  She talks about how we are too complacent in our lives, thinking we were made only to be mothers, raising oodles of kids and living in suburbia.  While we are called to be mothers and raise our children in the faith, God doesn't want us to remain in our comfort zones.  He is asking us to abandon our mediocre lives and live a radically abandoned one for Him, truly listening to his calling on our lives and ACCEPTING IT.  It's easy for us to say, "Oh God, I hear what you're saying but that just isn't for me.  I'm not cut out for this changing-the-world stuff."  No.  When we begin using the term, "Christian" to identify ourselves we have made the decision to get up our own lives and surrender to Christ's will.  Leslie uses Matthew 16:24, 25 countless times within Set-Apart Femininity.  It reads:

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross and follow me.  If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it.  But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it." (NLT)

We are all guilty of wanting to "hang on" to our lives.  Sometimes it is hard to swallow what God is saying and what he is calling us to do.  But truly, what greater thing can we do in our lives than serve him and be apart of his bigger plan?


For the longest time, I believed that God really couldn't and wouldn't use me for something that really mattered in this world.  I wasn't "cut out" for it.  But it wasn't that I wasn't cut out for it but that I wasn't ready to truly accept God's calling on my life.  And while I still have no idea where his plan will lead me, I do know that he is planning on using me in a miraculous way.  I want it.  I desire it.

I was thinking about all the things God has shown me through Leslie Ludy's book, and I had my iTunes on in the background.  God's timing is so perfect and I realized that the song, My Desire by Jeremy Camp was playing.  My thoughts were completely encompassed in this song.  It's beautiful so here are the lyrics and link to a video:

My Desire- Jeremy Camp

You want to be real
You want to be empty inside
You want to be someone, laying down your pride
You want to be someone someday
Then lay it all down before the King

You want to whole
You want to have purpose inside
You want to have virtue, and purify your mind
You want to be set free today then lay it all down before the King

This is my desire
This is my return
This is my desire to be used by you

You want to be real
You want to be emptied inside
and I know my heart is to feel you near
And I know my life
It's to do your will

All my life I have seen where you've taken me
Beyond all I have hoped and there's more left unseen
There's not much I can do to repay all you've done so I give my hands to use

Also, God again using his perfect timing, had a good friend of mine post this prayer of Ignatius Loyola.

Take Lord, and receive
all my liberty,
my memory,
my understanding, and my will,
all that I have and possess.

Everything I have is Yours,
for You have given it all to me;
to You I return it.

Take me, Lord,
and do what You like with me,
only give me Your grace
and Your love,
for that is enough for me. Amen.  

We have already received the greatest gift in Jesus Christ and without it we are nothing.  Why would we not give back?  We are called to be Christ's hands and feet and if we don't do it, who will?  We get to experience a truly satisfying life through Jesus.  Why would we not want to share it?

God is calling.  How far will you go?