while i'm waiting.

So it's been a little while since I've written but I'm back with an amazing new song.

While visiting a good friend of mine this week, we watched the movie, Fireproof.  Just recently I also indulged in the movie Facing the Giants which is produced by the same people and loved it so I was excited to see what Fireproof was all about.  And it didn't hurt that it was starring Kirk Cameron.

Fireproof is a movie focusing on marriage and keeping Christ at the center of it.  I come from a divorced family and this movie hit me hard.  The past couple days in general have really made me think about the kind of relationship I want with my future husband and how I so desperately desire Christ to be the center of it.  I see, now more than ever, why marriages and relationships and families don't work.  Christ has to be first and everyone in those relationships have to be seeking him.

In Fireproof, a song by John Waller came up.  This song grabbed me by the heart.  It was so applicable to the movie and situation there but can carry its meaning to so many other situations in our lives.  Here are the lyrics and a link to a video on YouTube. 

While I'm Waiting- John Waller

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

Every time I listen to this song it gives me chills.  This is my fervent prayer.  Through the pain, through the struggle, through the waiting, I will continue to run the race toward Christ, serving Him, obeying Him, loving Him.

I don't know what God is calling me to do with my life and this song seems so perfect.  I'm patiently waiting for Him to reveal that plan but it doesn't mean that my life doesn't mean anything the moment.  Everything we do should glorify God.  Every breath we take, every action we make should all be to His glory.  This is what While I'm Waiting is talking about.  It's not always going to be easy but God has a plan that we can rely on and while we wait, we give all the glory back to Him.

This is also a really hard concept for me personally.  I'm not a patient person and God dealing with some situations in my life that He is calling me to be patient about.  It's not about my timing, it's about God.  It will reveal all I need to know at just the right time.

We serve an amazing God whose plan is absolutely perfect.  What a comfort I find in that.

christ is born.

Happy Birthday Jesus!

So last night during our Christmas Eve services, we sang Come and Worship by Bebo Norman.  I love it and wanted to share it with you all thinking that it would possibly stir you and our thoughts on the meaning of this day.  The title is a link to an absolutely beautiful video.  Please watch it.

Come and Worship- Bebo Norman

Angels from the 
Realms of Glory
Wing your flight o'er the Earth
Ye who sang creation's story
Now proclaim the Messiah's birth

Come and Worship 
Come and Worship 
Come and Worship
Worship Christ the Newborn King

Shepherds in the
Fields abiding
Watching o'er the flocks by night
God with man is 
Now residing 
Yonder shines the infant light

Come and Worship
Come and Worship
Come and Worship
Worship Christ the Newborn King

Saints before the 
Alter bending
Watching long in hope and fear
Suddenly the Lord descending
In His temple shall appear

Come and Worship 
Come and Worship 
Come and Worship 
Worship Christ the Newborn King

I would challenge you to take time as this Christmas day ends 

to come and worship Christ the King.  

This is HIS day, it is about HIM.  It is so easy to forget but take some time 

praying and really remembering why we even have this day.  

Remember, Christ is our gift, His grace is enough. 

oh, what love is this?

I've been listening to a lot of Christmas music.  One of my favorite seasonal CDs is Selah's Rose of Bethlehem.  If you haven't heard them, look them up!  Anyways, it wasn't until recently that I really listened to their song, Mystery.  I have since fallen in love with it.  Not only is the musicianship amazing but more importantly the words are phenomenal.  Here are the lyrics so you can see what I mean:

Mystery- Selah

A child was born on Christmas Day
Born to save the world
But long before the world began
He knew His death was sure
The pain and strife secured

Mystery, how He came
To be a man
But greater still
How His death was in His plan
God predestined that His Son would die
And He still created man
Oh, what love is this
That His death was in His hands

The Christmas trees
They glow so bright
With presents all around
But Christmas brought
A tree of life
With blood that sacrificed
The greatest gift in life

I am just a man and
Can’t begin to comprehend
When You look into this traitor’s eyes
What do You see that justifies the Lamb

God predestined that His
Son would die
And He still created man
Oh, what love is this
That His death was in His plan
Mystery, mystery

I think my favorite lines in this song are, firstly, "God predestined that His Son would die and He STILL created man", and then the next line that is really perfectly coupled with the first is, "When You look into this traitor's eyes, what do You see that justifies the Lamb?"

This whole situation baffles me.  Christ, himself part of God, came to earth to save us, sinners, worthless beings, the scum of the earth.  God, the creator of EVERYTHING loved us, those sinners, so much that He sent his Son, perfect and divine to save us.  Why?  WHY?  When I think about this, it is a shock to my system with how much God loves us.  In Jeremiah 31:3 it says, "Long ago the Lord said to Israel: 'I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love.  With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.' (NLT)  Two different words in that verse are used to show God's persistent and unrelenting love for us.  And the funny thing is we don't always love Him.  God knew when He created us that we would be screw-ups, and were undeserving of His love and grace, but "He still created man".

I am amazed that the God of the universe desires a relationship with me.  I am amazed that He wants to be a part of my valueless life.  His grace is so overwhelming to me.  This is the gift that I should be focused on during Christmas.  Honestly, what else do I need when I've been given grace?

i celebrate the day.

New song.  New favorite Christmas song probably.

I was in the car today after dropping my sister off, and I was listening to the local Christian radio station.  Obviously because of the proximity to Christmas, they were playing Christmas music.  I really love Christmas music more than I did I think because I recently took a vocal arranging class.  One thing my professor taught my class is if you're going to arrange for a well-known piece, you have do something to it to make it better than the original.  So as I'm listening, a "new" version of Silent Night coupled with Away in a Manger comes on.  So, me being a little critical, was thinking, "What is so great about this arrangement of these two pieces?"  It wasn't until the second part of the song, or as it's called, the "I Celebrate the Day" part came on, did I realize what made this piece special.  This was also about the point when I realized that these were done by Relient K, whom I love.

What I love so much about Relient K is how so many of their songs are so personal and blunt.  Matt Thiessen, the lead singer, guitarist, pianist, and primary song-writer for the band, speaks whole-heartedly and truthfully in the "I Celebrate" portion of this piece.  Here are some lyrics for you:

I Celebrate the Day- Relient K

And with this Christmas wish is missed
The point I could convey
If only I could find the words to say to let You know how much You've touched my life
Because here is where You're finding me, in the exact same place as New Year's eve
And from a lack of my persistency
We're less than half as close as I want to be

And the first time
That You opened Your eyes did You realize that You would be my Savior
And the first breath that left Your lips
Did You know that it would change this world forever

And so this Christmas I'll compare the things I felt in prior years
To what this midnight made so clear
That You have come to meet me here

To look back and think that
This baby would one day save me
In the hope that what You did
That you were born so I might live
To look back and think that
This baby would one day save me

And I, I celebrate the day
That You were born to die
So I could one day pray for You to save my life


I feel like this piece blows my mind.  I love how conversational this song is.  I would challenge you to go on iTunes and buy this and listen to it everyday.  The questions Matt Thiessen asks in this song are incredible and he phrases it so beautifully.  I honestly can't say anything more about this piece because it touches me so deeply.  Matt says it perfectly and I hope it affects you the way it has truly grabbed me. 


Today, I do celebrate the day that Christ was born to die so I could one day pray for Him to save my life.  How amazing is that?

http://relientk-music.blogspot.com/

i'm found in you.

So today, well actually starting last night, it has been snowing.  Many of you know that and are currently experiencing it so it's definitely not news but I'm currently snowed in at my mom's and just found out church services tomorrow are canceled.  I'm quite bummed because we were going to be doing a new song at our contemporary worship service that I was going to sing and I absolutely love it.  I think I first heard this song on the radio but after hearing it at the an acapella concert recently, I decided we needed to integrate it into worship at our church.  This song is one of those that reaches way down in and grabs my soul.  God is so clearly speaking to me in this song and it makes me emotional and grateful and full of strength all at the same time.  Here are the lyrics: 

Shadowfeet- Brooke Fraser

Walking, stumbling on these shadowfeet
toward home, a land that I've never seen
I am changing, less and less asleep
made of different stuff than when I began
and I have sensed it all along
fast approaching is the day

This first verse grabs me immediately.  I love thinking about how I'm on this journey, not an easy one mind you, but I'm growing and I'm changing, the old stuff is replaced by new, improved stuff. 

When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
when the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
when time and space are through
I'll be found in you

I'll be found in you.  That is becoming my more and more fervent prayer, that I will be found in God.  I am nothing without Him.   I honestly feel like this chorus pretty much speaks for itself.

Theres distraction buzzing in my head
saying in the shadows it's easier to stay
but I've heard rumours of true reality
whispers of a well-lit way

Distractions.  This is such a loaded and heavy subject.  Anything and everything can be a distraction for our path with Christ.  And I have experienced this verse first-hand.  Our path as Christians and as disciples of Christ is not easy and it so tempting to want to give into those distractions and trick us into thinking that path is easier.
  
You make all things new
You make all things new
You make all things new
You make all things
You make all things 

This one line is repeated five times.  It is obviously important.  You make all things new.  That promise is a wonderful one and makes me smile just thinking about it.  Christ takes all our crap and makes us new creations.  He wipes our slate clean every time and makes us new.  How reassuring is His grace?!

When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
Every fear and accusation under my feet
when time and space are through
I'll be found in you
when time and space are through
I'll be found in you
when time and space are through
I'll be found in you

Again, I love this chorus.  I'm found in Christ, all my fears and accusations under my feet, and I'm walking the well-lit path toward Christ.  I find that amazing and wonderful.

How great is our God. 

relationships.

So recently God has been speaking a lot to me about relationships.  It's kind of hard to even really begin so I'll start at the beginning.

Ever since I came to college, I have been praying for a strong Christian community.  I've been looking for fellowship with fellow disciples of Christ and while I have found outlets that satisfied temporarily, I have been struggling to find a group of people that really encourage, support and love me the way Christ calls us to and let me do that for them.

Within the past semester or so, God had given me several people in my life who have really helped to shape and challenge me.  Honestly, most of the work I could say has even been done in the past couple weeks.  God has shown me friends that truly sit and listen about my relationship with Christ and my new-found strength in finding His true calling for my life.  These people bring out the best in me and when I'm around them, I'm constantly learning from them.  They give me a sense of peace and calmness that I haven't really felt before and it's something that I'm learning to apply every day in my own life.

It's also been made clear to me that God has each one of us in each other's lives for a specific reason.  We are put in people's lives to bless and love them.  At the same time though, God is not calling us to be our friend's saviors.  What I mean by that is something that I've learned first hand.  I've always been a person who, when I see a friend in need, I'm there at moment's notice to help them.  I do everything possible to make the situation better, regardless of what it demands.  But God's been teaching me that there comes a time when all the compassion and the love in the world is not going to change that person.  It is then that Christ asks us to step back and let Him do His work.  That has been a really hard concept for me to swallow.  Becoming scarce when someone is struggling is a very foreign idea to me.  But sometimes we are only in the way when we try and make things better.  Sometimes God has to remove all distractions and all help from that person's life in order to really do His work and to really make it clear to that person what He wants.

I find it amazing how God gives us these opportunities to learn such important lessons.  They always seen to come at the right time, and maybe aren't always appreciated at the moment but I love being able to look back and know that I made something of the situation.

http://www.lovescape.org/pictures/holding-hands.JPG

turner ashby music is legit.

So yesterday I attended the Winter Concert at Turner Ashby High School.  I have to say that I was thoroughly impressed.  Ms. Pyles is new to the school since I was there and she has done an excellent job!  Her ensembles are all of good size and she has even added some!  When I was at TA, the only choirs we had were Concert Choir, Knightingales, and Singers.  Ms. Pyles has added another mixed ensemble called Mixed Chorale to the mix and has added a guy's ensemble called the KnightHawks [how legit of a name is that!?] Here are a couple links to videos to show you how AWESOME they were.

KnightHawks- Rise up, Shepherd

Little St. Nick

TA Singers- How Lovely are the Messengers

My favorite- Wintry Night

Anyways, I mostly attended the concert because my brother was in it.  He's a senior this year.  That BLOWS MY MIND.  How is it possible that my baby brother is getting ready to apply for COLLEGE?!  As soon as the KnightHawks started to sing, I could hear his voice.  It's really heart-warming for me, especially since I was always bugging him to do music and especially for the longest time, to see him as a such a strong presence in the choir and giving so much of himself to it.  I'm always so amazed by how much my brother has grown and how much we really is coming into the individual he was created to be.  My brother is awesome.

come alive.

Running with the theme from yesterday, my friend Rachel had me listen to the song, Come Alive by Barlow Girl.  For one I've always loved Barlow Girl but this song is absolutely amazing and says everything I feel especially when talking about God's calling on my life.

I looked for a good video on YouTube and there isn't one, so I'll post the lyrics and you can check out the song on iTunes.  It's totally worth it.

Come Alive

Wake up, get out, there's no time to waste now
Never shut up it's our turn to speak out
These streets are dead just waiting to come alive

Break down the doors of our comfortable room
Tear down the walls we never could see through
Aren't we sick of missing out on life

Do we want more?
Tell me do we want more?

'Cause we've heard the cry and we'll come alive
And we fight for love and we live to die
Because a life that holds no meaning
Is like a day without the light
So we'll come alive tonight

All have the call but so few have listened
Life is too short you don't want to miss this
Make up your mind before life passes by

Now is the time to wake up and see this
World won't revolve around you and me
So let's be the change we've all been waiting for

We are the passion
We are the movement
We are the fire
We'll never lose it

Again, life is calling, GOD is calling.  How far will you go?

Photo of the Day #13- [postsecret #3]

Food for thought...

This is something I've been thinking about a lot lately.  And for reasons unknown, and some known, I feel like God's calling me to bigger and better things with my life than I had previously anticipated.  While I'm not sure what they are, I'm certain of it because I'm not afraid.  For the longest time I thought God was going to call me to do something completely out of my comfort zone and I was so scared.  But now, I crave it.  I want it.  I want something more than the pathetic future I've always envisioned for myself.  And who better than God, the amazing Author and Creator, to entrust my future to? 

I want to radically change.  And I want my life to help radically change others. 

The answer to the question of how far will you go is, I want to go all the way.  I want to live full out, recklessly and hopelessly lost in the life God is calling me to.

Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 

                                                                          -Romans 12:11

b is for brian.

I'm done.  Thank God, it has finally happened.  My first semester of junior year is FINISHED!
It only makes sense that Sarah Kyser and I would sit and watch ridiculous daytime television.

So, who all has watched Let's Make a Deal?  If you haven't, you should.  Basically it's a game show, similar to The Price is Right but includes an audience dressed up in Halloween costumes and Wayne Brady.  Yeah, it's epic.

So on this show today, Wayne called down this guy in a cow costume, yes, you heard, he was dressed as a cow, with udders and a FAKE cowbell.  Sarah Kyser was not impressed.

Nevertheless, the first deal Brian played for was between diamond earrings and a year's supply of Seattle's Best Coffee.  Who's phrase is Smooth Since 1970.  [Sidenote: Wayne Brady was impressed.]  Anyways, Brian had to pick between A or B as to which prize he got.  Brian's response was "B for Brian".  Man, this guy is good at making decisions!  Brian also picked B for his second prize.  And when presented with the option of A or B for the third prize, he says, and I quote, "My parent gave me my name for a reason," and proceeded to pick B.  I would like to point out that on the first two prizes, because Brian picked B he won the lesser of the prizes.  Thankfully, Brian did stick it out with B and the third prize he won was a motorcycle.

Another sidenote, when Let's Make a Deal has bad prize, like for instance broken umbrellas, it's called a ZONK.  When Brian was playing the third deal, he was picking between A or B, B being the new motorcycle and A being a old, broken, nasty motorcycle.  The best moment was when the co-host decided to climb on board the old motorcycle and then proceeded to fall over.  And then spent a significant amount of time floundering around.  Needless to say, Sarah and I laughed.  A lot.

Anyway, back to Brian.  All in all, Brian won a brand new car.  I don't understand how that happened, but that guy is lucky.  [Sidenote:  Brian picked door number two and Sarah then responded, "It's the second letter in the alphabet, so it's B for Brian."  I wish he had said that in real life.]

Here are some pictures from our wonderful morning.

 

 

I would like to point out that the dad from Growing Pains now does diabetes commercials.  I just don't understand.

BUT YAY BREAK!

Photo of the Day #12- [finals.]

I took this picture last year during this time.  This is how I feel currently.  About everything.  Finals, life, work, stress, being sick.

Prayers would be great.  Thanks.

Photo of the Day #11- [snowday.]

IT'S SNOWINGGGGG!!!  Harrisonburg has gotten it's first snow of the year and it's a doozy!  I'm not gonna lie, I was a little skeptical about the legitimacy of the amount they were calling for but I woke up to beautiful, white snow!

Therefore, it is only appropriate that today's picture have a snow related theme.  I'm pulling all the stops and bringing an oldie, but a goody back from the past.

This picture was from 1996, when we had a RIDICULOUS blizzard.  The small child in the photo is my baby brother who kind of reminds me of Randy from The Christmas Story.   You can't even see his eyes! My Pop pushed all that snow on the side of our driveway and proceeded to make a tunnel through it.  Yup, legit.

Anyways, if you're in Harrisonburg, hope you're enjoying the snow!  I know I am!

...in full bloom.

And the day came

When the risk it took

To remain tight inside the bud

Was more painful

Then the risk it took

To blossom.

-Anais Nin

Check it out!

So I have another blog entitled, The Great Adventures of Pete Squeaky.  It a whole blog dedicated to bringing the brilliant situations and stories of my red, wood-paneled Buick station wagon to the masses.  It's in its early stages but I have been brainstorming some ideas for upcoming posts, so go check it out and keep coming back for more!

Photo of the Day #10- [postsecret #2]

I like this.  It's something I've had to learn the hard way.

 We choose to make each day a great one.  Even a bad day can turn around and be an amazing one.

Photo of the Day #9- [skys.]

The picture of the day features Sarah Jean Kyser.  She is awesome.  And let me tell you why.

[This picture was taken in Baltimore about two weeks ago after we both fell, Sarah first, then me after attempting to take a sweet jumping picture. And we scraped our hands.  Badly.]

The thing about Sarah and me is that we are the same person.  Yes, I said the same person.  Here is a list of all the ways in which we are alike:

1. We are both named Sara(h).

2. We were both born on June 1, 1989.

3. We are both singers who were sopranos for most of our lives until college when we got into Chorale and were made altos.

4. We both have younger brothers the same age and whose names start with a "cuh" sound, i.e. Kienan and Chris

5. We both played the role of Lucy in "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown".

6. After we first met freshman year of college, the only time we ever saw each other outside of Chorale was when we would randomly be at the same dining facility eating the EXACT SAME THING.

7. We both have moms who were church directors who are now not, but are currently music educators.

8. We are both very clumsy and our families whenever we were particularly uncoordinated would exclaim, "We should of named you Grace!"

I know there are more, but I currently should be studying for a music history test so I'm going to leave it at this for now.  But more to come.  Be prepared.

Photo(s) of the Day #8- [my brother is BA.]

I just found out moments ago that my brother is the lead in the musical this year!  He's playing Jean Valjean in Les Miserables.  Yes, he is a senior in high school, and no, I have no idea how they are going to pull it off but if nothing else, Kienan will be amazing.  Here are some pictures from previous musicals with Kie.

My amazing brother and I after last year's musical, Anything Goes.

Kienan as Moonface Martin.  Best role ever.  Until this year.

Lt. Joe Cable in South Pacific.  And Kie kind of looks like he's on crack.  It's fine.

And I put this one in for poops and giggles because Kienan REFUSED to audition for the musical his freshman year.  AKA my senior year/the ONLY year we could of been in a musical together.  I'm still bitter.

You're awesome bud!  I can't wait to see how amazing you are!

Photo of the Day #7- [random.]

Here's the picture for today.  I just really looked at it and it is quite humorous.  And yes, we are at a tea party.  BE JEALOUS.  IT WAS AWESOME.

I know it's extra large but it's fine.  Don't worry about it.

This is a classy photo.  And probably sums up the relationship of the three of us.

Rachel: happy.  Loves to laugh, giggle and be in a good mood at all times.  Probably telling a good story or hearing one.  Or just being enthusiastic.

Ellie:  silly.  She is almost picking her nose.  A little shameless at times, maybe even contemplative.  I love it.  Awesomesauce.

Me: weird.  Obviously most attractive of the group.  And a little isolated at the end of the table.  But focused seeing as I'm the only one looking at the camera.

Good picture pick for the day.  Joy Weaver with the photo cred.

PS- School starts back up tomorrow.  BAD NEWS BEARS.

Photo of the Day #6- [cul de sac.]

This was random picture I selected from when I was about 4 years old.  Enjoy this wonderment of a picture.

I made it a little larger so you can really see it.  This picture is of all the youngest kids in my cul de sac growing up.  From left to right we have, Jacob, Kevin, Lee, Stephanie, Josiah in the back (obviously not wanting to take a picture), Melanie, me and Kienan.

Let's evaluate the classy moments going on in this picture:

First off, Jacob is holding an Indian drum and wearing war paint.  Kevin is wearing a Barney shirt.  Always a good choice.  Lee is wearing his helmet.  Safety first.  Stephanie has a bowl cut.  Josiah is playing with a bow and has war paint but is also wearing a baseball cap.  Melanie is the baby of the group and just not paying attention.  Kienan and I are the only ones who seem to be happy in this picture and Kienan is holding a hatchet.

Classy Waterman Drive.  Very classy.

Photo of the Day #5- [high school small group.]

Today there is only one picture.  I took it last spring I believe and I love it.  This is most of my small group from high school.

Let me tell you a little about these girls.

Let's start on the left with Ellie.  I've known Ellie since elementary school.  We're the same age but didn't go to the same elementary school, but my mom taught her and I spent a lot of after school time there.  I don't really have too many memories until sixth grade though when we were in the same middle school and same class.  From there our friendship blossomed.  That year, Ellie's family switched churches and started attending mine.  Ellie has been a huge source of support in my life.  Two summers ago, I don't think I would of survived without her.  She is absolutely goofy and funny, and peppy.  I love it.

In the middle is Molly.  I met Molly through some mutual friends and through our high school small group.  She's a little calmer and subdued than the other two in the picture which really makes the dynamic of the group different.  She's very sarcastic and has a very dry sense of humor.  I would say she is more realistic and practical than the rest of us in the group.  She's an amazing bassoonist, and is getting married this next summer.  Which is weird.  But awesome.

On the right is Rachel.  Rachel and I have known each other for most of our lives.  We grew up in the same church which kept us around we other often.  It wasn't until very recently though, that my relationship with Rachel really took off.  This year, Rachel transferred to JMU and so we've had much more time to spend with each other.  Rachel kind of blows my mind.  She has an absolutely amazing faith, and is amazingly compassionate.  She is so funny because she can be crazy and goofy but can also be amazingly down to earth, with insight well beyond her years.  She has really helped me grow in my faith and walk in Christ.

Basically, you should know these girls because they are phenomenal.

Photo(s) of the Day #4- [what i'm thankful for.]

Here's a VERY SMALL selection of the things I'm thankful for in pictures.

thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm writing this, sitting on my couch, watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade by myself.  This is the first time in my life that I have woken up on such a big holiday and not had my family around me.  I will be joining my family at 2 PM for Thanksgiving lunch but I think it's moments like this where I realize more than ever how much I'm growing up and how much my life is changing.

It's funny because I've never been a fan of change.  Normally I cringe at the idea of new things because I thrive in consistency.  But then again, who doesn't in some way?  Being consistent and things staying the same is a comfortable place to be.  It means that where you are is just fine; there's no need to adapt or adjust our lifestyle.

As some of you know, the past four years or so of my life have been the hardest of my life.  Because of that, I've been looking for consistent things in my life.  There was so much change for so long, and most of it was negative.  I think that's really made my mentality of "change is bad" even stronger.

Surprisingly enough, more recently I've decided that I'm don't want to be comfortable anymore.  Being comfortable for me has meant being comfortable with being mediocre.  I've never really pushed myself or wanted to be more.  And the fact is, is that I was created to be more.  I was created to give more of myself, to give ALL of myself, and I've been slighting God for a long time.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.  -2 Corinthians 5:17


This verse pretty much sums it up.  I want to be in Christ; I want my life to be dedicated to Christ.  I want what He wants for me.  And so if I truly want that, He will make me a true creation.  That in a nutshell means I'm not going to be the same.  Change will happen; the old Sara will be replaced by something better.

And while I'm kind of scared out of my mind, I'm excited to see what Christ will do.  I'm excited to see how God uses me to fulfill His will.

I think this is what I'm truly thankful for today.  For God finally getting my heart to place where I'm really ready to accept His call on my life.  To want to change in order to do what He wants.  This is no longer about me.  And it never has been but I've made it about me.  My change comes because I'm in love with an amazing God.  And I couldn't be more thankful to have relationship with that amazing God.

[Food for thought]-
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.  -Hebrews 13:8
(Shouldn't I be finding my consistency in Christ?)

Photo(s) of the Day #3- [wales. on top of the world.]

So recently, I've been thinking about traveling.  And this makes me think of this summer when I was in Wales.  I traveled with my choir from school and did a tour of England and Wales and the first full day in Wales was probably the best of the whole trip.  Mostly because we climbed a mountain to see ruin of a castle that is one of two sites they believe could possibly be the real Camelot.  Here are some pictures.

This is the sign before the climb.

Definitely got the best pictures of the whole trip on this mountain.

I would probably climb that mountain everyday if I lived in Llangollen.  It was amazing.

[Photo credit: Sara Willard and Kelsey Failes]

Photo(s) of the Day #2- [cecilia]

My best friend and sister will be home in approximately 24 days.  I'm pretty sure I can NOT WAIT.  Cecilia has been gone since before I got back from England was the beginning of July.

Cecilia and I have been friends since high school.  It's funny because I was actually friends with our sister, Twyla first.  Now I'm sure you're confused.  Technically, Cecilia and Twyla are my step-siblings, but I've always called Cecilia my sister.  I believe this first picture was taken August 2006.  That feels about 50 years ago.

So this picture and a couple of the next ones, pretty much sum up our relationship.  We are ridiculous.  Yes, this picture is one of many during a Ramen Noodle photoshoot.  I can't say that I'm ashamed at all.  I look like I've been crying in this picture because I have.  From laughter.

I'm pretty sure in this picture I straightened my hair.  
My hair is stick straight.  I also believe we "dressed up" and put on more makeup than necessary.  Oh, the things we do.

This photoshoot is obviously a little more recent, seeing as I finally have short hair.  And now that I'm writing about all this pictures, I realize just how often Cecilia and I got bored and did photoshoots.

   

I miss everything about this girl.  I miss watching Sweeney Todd a thousand times and eating corn dogs. I miss listening to Queen and Steve Miller Band and making up lyrics because we have NO IDEA what they are talking about.  I miss playing duets on the piano.  I can't wait to hug my sister until the end of time when she comes home.

Photo of the Day #1

So I've decided that I want to share a photo or in this case, a postsecret everyday.  Or at least close to it.

I though this one was a great one to start out on.  This was put up on the Sunday morning postsecrets a couple of weeks ago.

I absolutely love it.

Sometimes I just need that reminder, especially when things are hard, that there's a bigger picture, and while sometimes we feel like there's no point to all the hard work we put in and all the things we do, it's so much more than that.

We are making an impact everyday.  Everything we do affects someone else and we have to remember that.

I love thinking that I'm a part of something big and important and especially magical.

the power of prayer.

God called me out tonight.
He legit said, "Sara Meghan Willard, I have something to tell you, so listen up!"
I was sitting in church and needed something to write and as I was flipping in the back of my Bible, I read something I had written there my senior year during a youth retreat.


It read:
If God is telling you anything, He's talking to you about your mess.  Stop telling others what God's saying to them.


I found out some news about a friend yesterday that upset me.  From that moment, carrying through to today, I was upset.  I was anxious and frustrated.  But when I read that quote, I realized that's exactly what I've been doing.  I've been too concerned on fixing my friend while I'm not really even in a place to tell him how to live his life.


As I stated in my last blog post, I've always struggled with prayer.  It's something that my friend, Rachel has really been encouraging me in and I've been praying more in the past couple days than I have in awhile.  When I was upset last night, I couldn't sleep.  I was so conflicted.  So I prayed.  I prayed about frustration and confusion and for the desire to want what God wants for me.  And I kind of felt like I was talking to no one.  I didn't really feel that much better after praying so I hoped God would answer my questions soon.


So tonight he slapped me upside the head.  It was a "Godsmack" as my friend Phil would say.
During 6:33, the first slide on the powerpoint was a quote by Martin Luther King, Jr.


To be a Christian without prayer is no more possible than to be alive without breathing.


It's funny that for so long I have thought I could be a disciple of Christ without prayer.  Tonight we defined prayer as talking and listening to God.  As Christians, we are called to have a relationship with God.  What do we generally do in a relationship with friends?  We hang out with them, we spend time talking and listening to them.  That is what God wants from us!  In order to know Him and discern what he wants of us, we have to be spending with Him.  If I want to really hear from God, I HAVE TO SPEND TIME IN PRAYER.  This is something I'm learning now.


Everyone talks about the power of prayer and sometimes I doubt it.
The topic for 6:33 tonight was prayer.  We were reading from Acts 4 and verse 31 really jumped out at me.


After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken.  And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly.


That is amazing.  If that isn't a testament to the power of prayer, I don't know what is.


[Food for thought]-
The one concern of the devil is to keep Christians from praying. He fears nothing from prayerless studies, prayerless work, and prayer-less religion. He laughs at our toil, mocks at our wisdom, but trembles when we pray.

finally safe.

Life has been ridiculous lately.

So ridiculous.

The funny thing is that I have been growing more than ever and I'm constantly shocked at how God has been revealing something to me every day.

I've noticed more and more recently that God reveals himself to different people very differently. While one my of best friends is definitely a woman of prayer and really hears God speaking to her in the silence, I've found that God really likes to speak through song, which I find is quite appropriate. Earlier this week, I stumbled over a song by Phil Wickham, entitled Safe. The message in this song could not be more appropriate for my life of late.

Here are the lyrics:

To the one who's dreams are falling all apart
And all you're left with is a tired and broken heart
I can tell by your eyes you think your on your own
but you're not all alone

Have you heard of the One who can calm the raging seas
Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet
With a love so strong and never let you go
oh you're not alone

You will be safe in His arms
You will be safe in His arms
'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart
This is the promise He made
He will be with You always
When everything is falling apart
You will be safe in His arms

Did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life
Is the very same voice that calls you to rise
So hear Him now He's calling you home
You will never be alone

These are the hands that built the mountains
the hands that calm the seas
These are the arms that hold the heavens
they are holding you and me

These are hands that healed the leper
Pulled the lame up to their feet
These are the arms that were nailed to a cross
to break our chains and set us free

Everything about this song reassures me.

I'm being honest when I say that it is really easy for me to forget about God taking care of me. I'm always looking for an immediate answer to my problems and more often than not, I forget to consult God about it at all. I seek out the people in my life to carry the burdens, and to make things better when really God is giving me those opportunities to seek Him out and rely on Him. This song is a perfect reminder of how God wants to carry me. Every time I listen this song, I get chills. Phil Wickham talks about this AMAZING God, one that built the mountains and calmed the seas. Honestly, if I'm not reassured by that, what will reassure me? Obviously, a God that can do all of those things will make sure I'm taken care of and will know exactly what is best for me.

I also stumbled over Psalm 27 the other day. I was upset and when I opened my Bible, it literally fell open to that page.

¹ The LORD is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?

² When evil men advance against me
to devour my flesh,
when my enemies and my foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.

³ Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then will I be confident.

⁴ One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.

⁵ For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
and set me high upon a rock.

⁶ Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the LORD.

⁷ Hear my voice when I call, O LORD;
be merciful to me and answer me.

⁸ My heart says of you, "Seek his face!"
Your face, LORD, I will seek.

⁹ Do not hide your face from me,
do not turn your servant away in anger;
you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
O God my Savior.

¹⁰ Though my father and mother forsake me,
the LORD will receive me.

¹¹ Teach me your way, O LORD;
lead me in a straight path
because of my oppressors.

¹² Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
for false witnesses rise up against me,
breathing out violence.

¹³ I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.

¹⁴ Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

Again, this is just another God moment. He knows what I need to hear. He knows what I'm struggling with and He knows that I NEED HIM. I need to make Him the FIRST one I turn to, to offer up things to Him in prayer and let Him take control. More and more I'm realizing that I really want Him to have those things. I want to surrender that control because I know that I'll just mess it up if I try and do it on my own.

My prayer is that God continues to show me what He can do when I let Him take control. He is my comfort and my strength. In Him, I am safe. And I've been looking for that safety in all the wrong places.

sorry?

So lately, I'm been learning more about myself.  I'm not really sure why all of a sudden I'm having these grand realizations but nevertheless, it's pretty insightful.

I know I'm an emotional person.  I've always been that way.  But the thing I've been struggling most with is does that immediately translate to being overly dramatic about things.  I'm sure I have my moments when I blow things out of proportion, but sometimes I think I am justified in how I feel.

For instance, most of the time, I can give you an rational explain for how I'm feeling.  I can clearly tell you my emotions and my thoughts behind them.  The problem seems to lay in the response from the other person.  Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall.  And because I don't get a good response, I immediately assume I'm being ridiculous. 

Is it intimidating to have someone tell you how they feel and know what they want?  More and more I feel like I'm finding that's true.  I talk and sort how my feelings and emotions while I feel more people would rather keep them private and not talk about them at all.

The thing is is that, I'm compassionate and sympathetic.  I don't like hurting people, which hopefully no one does, and obviously avoid it at all costs.  I hate getting mad at people and often feel guilty for being upset with someone, even if I'm completely justified in how I'm feeling.  9 times out of 10, I end up apologizing for something that wasn't my fault because I can't stand being in a tense relationship with someone.

No one likes to be told their wrong; I know I don't.  But I think sometimes that keeps people from apologizing.  And really that's all I want to hear.  I can stand being hurt, but the truth is is that the situation would be a whole lot better, if you'd just apologize for it!  Everyone messed up; it's a part of life.  I don't hold grudges and I try to not be bitter about things.  At least I'm really trying to work on it.  But I only want to be treated the way anyone else would want to be treated.  It's not like I'm asking for the world.

I don't know, maybe someday people will get it.  They'll just say they're sorry and things will be better.